Cloverfield Return to NY
by SwitchBladezz
Summary: My own Cloverfield story. M for explicit material and some language.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It's been a long time since the monster was seen. Maybe he's retreated. Maybe he's dead. Maybe he's destroying another island. However, it didn't feel right. Anyway, there is a party going on in the Club on 42nd Avenue. Maybe I should go.

These roads are full of crap and nobody cares. Even our local pigs don't give a toss. If I was Bacon Basher, I would order _someone _to clean it up, and also get some Bobs to repair this place. Yes, I'm living in an apartment in New York, after moving from Stafford when the monster attacked us. However, the chopper noticed me and I escaped to here. However, I'm told it attacked here and this club seems to be a _strip_ club, with my girl working as a piledriver (or pole dancer) there.

I don't know if I should go. I feel like I should, but at the same time, I don't. Maybe something will happen, could be good, and could be bad. But I'm going to go.

So I went to the club to find it was a lesbian strip club. But, as a man, I preferred this, as it was just women. Anyway, I went upstairs to find my girl lapdancing with a guy. I ignored this and watched the TV. Then a Breaking News broadcast came up.


	2. Chapter 2

"Yesterday, near the iceberg famous for apparently sinking the great Titanic, a team of top FBI agents spotted a creature which appeared to be at first a blue whale, but…SHIT! It turns out to be a FUCKING monster! Sorry for my 'wanker' tourettes, I just can't keep my FLAPS shut 'cough.' Sorry TWATS, sorry I mean kids, or you stupid jockeys, get Fucked!"

"Oh god," I murmured, "Not Tom Dillmere reporting a fucking monster sighting. Anyway, I might as well have a fuck in here and take my missus to get employed for the best job in town, blow," I told my new best friend called Joey.

"Yeah, and did I tell you Tuesdays are 69 days here? Lezzys, 69 all over the place, and you can get in the middle of them! Richard out, and handyman releases the soap for you! I go every Tuesday."

Later that night, I was swinging with my missus and one of my lesbian friends, watching them muff munching and me jabbing them, when there was a sudden vibration.

"Oh shit, I think you just erupted and we're not even finished yet!"

"No, that's not me; anyway on the news the twat reported a monster or something in the Atlantic…"

"Have you ever heard of a whale?" the missus snapped at me.

"YES, you stupid bimbo, I have."

Lucy, my bisexual friend, made me go out of the bedroom and onto the balcony to check it out.

"No, I'm not going out naked and with a Donkey Rick," I replied.

"Aww, why not, if you do, I'll let you feel these."

"Ok."

So I went out, with Ricky hurting

(If you're still wondering who Ricky (or Richard and Rick) are, I wouldn't continue the story) and then the volcano did erupt. No, not mine, but Lady Liberty just exploded! I was shivering. I had to tell the girls.

"Erm, you might want to look outside," I said in a dopey way.

So they got their clothes on and went to the balcony. They went white. The missus, who I didn't mention her name, Rachel, blacked out and slipped over the railings, and I saw her brain splatter, I was in tears. Lucy asked for my eruption, so I did and went back out. But I saw Lucy was going to start crying.

"Ryan, why did this have to happen?"

"Because it is seeking revenge."

"What's it? And why does it want revenge?"

"It's name is Clover. And want revenge after I survived it."

"And what is Clover exactly?"

"Wait till you see it."


	3. Chapter 3

So we went down to check on Rachel, who was obviously dead.

'Shit' was the thought that went rushing through my head.

Lucy then tried rebuilding Tongue City with me, to revive my confidence, as I knew two heads will always beat one, even if the one has eyes 50 times bigger than one of us.

"Let's go!" I shouted to Lucy.

"Ok, but where to?"

"The subway!"

So we ran as fast as we could, dodging all the taxis, sports cars, pigmobiles, ambulances, 4x4s and several other vehicles. When we finally reached the Subway, there was a bit of a problem.

"The Subway has been evacuated" Nobody in apart from people in nuclear gear," a soldier shouted.

"Why?

"There is a Clover egg in there, don't want to die from a minute old baby, right?" he called in a somehow polite way.

"True, stupid fucker, bet he couldn't use that RPG he has in his hand, and dying due to a minute old baby? Bet there isn't an egg in there," I told Lucy.

I was so wrong.

There was a sudden crack. The roads started to split. There were spurts of blue plasma fire rising up from where the streetlight mains were. And from the subway entrance, there was a distinct thud and the concrete that made up the pavement (or sidewalk) break open. Now I told Lucy what Clover looked like, except it got 100 times bigger. Luc' couldn't put up with it and held her mouth.

"Lucy, don't please, you don't want to be sick in public, do ya'?"

"mmmmm…(no)" Lucy replied.

"Then hurry back to the apartment and release it if that's the case."

"mmmmm…(are you sure I should go back all the way up there?)"

I licked my top teeth. This meant I was mad due to something. I didn't know, Luc' didn't know, the army didn't know, and even the police didn't know. I had just wished Luc' _had _just chucked at the moment I heard a repulsive sound which sounded like a scream. I thought it was Lucy, but it turned out to be something else.


	4. Chapter 4

Where'd MiniClover gone?

And why wasn't Lucy holding her mouth now?

I knew why. Luc' didn't. Neither did anyone else.

Despite the remains on her face, I still continued rebuilding Tongue City with her. Ricky was growing, and he felt a hand, and then eventually saliva. Ricky was going to erupt _again. _But that's normal. And Ricky also felt the amniotic leavings.

Writer's little note: Like I said before, please understand all these terms.

Now the big test. I was living life for a day and then Clover itself arrived to do damage. This was when Lucy saw what I meant by 100 times bigger.

"Oh…My…God…" was Luc's first reaction at Clover. Unfortunately, Clover was right at our balcony.

It gave a scream only I could understand.

"I'll destroy all of you. First the green people, then the rest of the island and THEN…you."

I turned to Lucy who was once again holding her mouth. I knew what to do.

Or what Lucy should do.

"Lucy, thanks to you, I found the son of a bitch's weakness, SPEW HIS EYES!"

And with that, the terrifying Clover with Only A Cameo Role (OACR in my newest stories) dropped dead. This time for sure. But then I remembered Clover's HUGE size. He'd smash half the City! Unfortunately, this was an unstoppable force and so, quite a lot of buildings, including the Empire State Building, were smashed to bits. And the back of his head landed on Ground Zero.

So Clover wasn't as lucky this time, but there was a huge death count, though.

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